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When the Holidays Hurt

Whether you can't be bothered to deck the halls or you're a junior Martha Stewart like I am, going through a divorce around the holidays is not as easy as (pumpkin) pie. X and I moved into a rental house in June of 2014, just a temporary stop until the home we were about to build was finished. Temporary status notwithstanding, I made sure as we moved that the holiday ornaments would be easy to get to. The rental was huge, with high ceilings and I was envisioning some big holiday celebrations. We had lots of traditions around the holidays, especially Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we would go out to lunch somewhere we hadn't been before (much easier after we moved to Santa Fe!) That evening we

Limitless Expectations

Some chance encounters might not be completely accidental. Sometimes the stars align and we meet people who show us something we hadn't even thought of before. I met someone on a plane last week who did just that. He asked me what I did for a living and I said, without hesitation, "I am an author and blogger and I write on the topic of healing after nonconsensual divorce." What?! I do? (It is still hard for me to believe.) He was intrigued. "Nonconsensual divorce? Where one party does not want it?" "Yes," I said, bracing for the usual, "If someone doesn't want to be married to you, why would you want to be married to them?" response. I didn't get it this time- sometimes we get what we need

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