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Lions and Tigers and Hope, Oh My!

Very excited to have a dear friend as a guest writer today. Mary Kay is about to go "in the trenches" of divorce. Wishing her peace and thanking her for this great article! He that lives upon Hope will die fasting. Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards's Almanack (1758) Last night turned out to be one of those nights where thoughts were swirling in my head and I felt compelled to write about something, specifically Hope. The topic came up earlier in the day in a social media group in the form of a question about how one finds Hope again to go on after a loss. There are many elaborate definitions of Hope all over the internet, but there are several common themes. As a noun, it can be 1) a feeling

Total Eclipse of Your Core Essence

Once upon a time, I really believed love always wins. Before the actual divorce, when the marriage was still on again, off again, I thought the love in me was simply stronger than whatever X was feeling. Something seemed to work for awhile. Then I went through a divorce and thought that I was obviously wrong about something. There was a (thankfully short) time of darkness. Now I know love wins. I should say that I went back to consciously knowing it. The reality of a nonconsensual divorce necessitates that you essentially put your love impulses aside in order to survive. Your attorney takes over and it becomes about numbers- but how can you put a value on visiting (as yet unborn) grandchildr

The Ghost of Marriage Past

It must be terrible to be ghosted by someone you are dating. Being ghosted, in case you aren't hip to what the cool kids are saying these days, is when someone you are seeing suddenly stops all communication and seemingly drops off the face of the earth. Of course, it is one thing to be ghosted by someone you are dating, and another thing for your spouse of 26 years to completely disregard your existence. It's like, you know, so totally uncool. Then again, I asked for it. I mean, literally, I did. After the last "I want a divorce," proclamation was made, I specifically said, "I don't want to ever see you again, I want to pretend like this never happened." Admittedly, part of me was hoping th

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